New Parameters
by AnnFleur
Summary: Short scenes that we didn't get to see in Resolutions. J/C all the way.
1. Building a House

**Author's Note: This will be yet another Resolutions add-on, depicting some of the scenes we didn't get to see on Voyager. I hope you like it, since it will be different from a lot of fanfic out here. The story will consist of short pieces, each with a title explaining the scene. I'm leaving the names of the other chapters in it so you can see what's next.**

**For readers of my Bones fic: I will be finishing Uncharted Lands shortly, and updating A Rational Decision later this week. Work, people. Be patient.**

**Rating: M for later chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or New Earth. All belongs to Paramount.**

New Parameters.

Building a House

So this was their new home.

Kathryn walked around their belongings that had been beamed down, looking out over the clearing on which they had been revived from their induced comas. The planet looked peaceful, just like it had when they had been down here before to explore the area. Kathryn couldn't help but notice the similarities between this planet and Earth, her home.

She looked over to Chakotay, who seemed to be doing some exploring of his own, looking through the stuff they had with them.

He was her partner in this, suffering the same fate as she. One bite. One insect. One bug and they might be on this planet forever.

But she didn't want to think about that possibility yet. She had everything she needed to continue her research, and somewhere down the line she would find a cure, she just knew it. There was no other option in her mind right now.

Chakotay looked at his Captain, who seemed lost in the planet's obvious beauty. Its sun was high in the sky, the trees blossoming in what looked and felt like spring.

He decided it was time they put together their Starfleet issue shelter, so he called over to her.

'Where do you want to set up our shelter?'

She walked towards him. 'I don't know, not on the clearing, maybe we can find a small flat area somewhere near here.'

Chakotay nodded. 'I have a detailed map on the area on our tricorders.' He took his one out and scanned the area. 'Right over there should be a nice spot.'

They checked it out and he was right. It wasn't as open as the clearing, but sparsely grown with trees and other bushes. A flat area marked the perfect spot for their box and after a few measurements Chakotay confirmed that it was the best place for a shelter in the area.

'I suggest we get to work, we want to finish this before nightfall,' Kathryn said.

He nodded. 'Aye, Captain.'

'What did I tell you, no more Captain. I'll hear plenty of that once we're back on Voyager,' she said, her mood light.

He smiled, not fully sharing her optimism but finding it contagious anyway. 'All right, Kathryn. Let's get building.'

He soon proved to be an excellent builder, the more physical stuff being very easy for him. Within a few hours he managed to get the entire outside of the shelter pieced together.

'Let's take a break,' Kathryn suggested, having taken off her jacket and longsleeve. 'I'm not used to this kind of work.'

He smiled and took two ration packs from their batch. 'Why don't you let me finish this, you get started on the furniture.'

She took the ration pack from him. 'But we need walls first. I think these things aren't designed to hold two, so that will require some ingenuity.'

'Sounds like a perfect job for you,' he answered lightly. She nodded. 'All right, I'll sway. But only because you'll have to carry me in if I continue this and I don't like the imagery of that.'

'You mean I'd be carrying you over the threshold on our first day here? That wouldn't be good.'

They laughed and ate together for a while until Chakotay decided to get back to work. Kathryn watched him for a few minutes, and in those minutes she realized something. She wasn't really unhappy with the situation. Sure, she didn't want to be here, she wanted to be on Voyager, cured, captaining the ship. But if she couldn't and she had to be down here, she found she had the best company she could have asked for.

He sensed her watching him, but he didn't acknowledge her. He knew it felt like a temporary thing to her but in his coma he had seen different things. Images had come to him about storms, tears and a very long time on this planet. He didn't want to tell her about it because he admired her spirit and he didn't want his visions to be reality, but he couldn't help but feel as if he was building their home.

After having decided on two small sleeping areas opposite each other and a big living room combined with the kitchen in the middle, the bathroom on the far end, Kathryn started to unpack her equipment and Chakotay got started on getting the replicator online. They had also made sure they had equipment to make an old fashioned stove to cook on, they had pots and cutlery as well as whatever they could replicate and save.

Soon it was time for dinner and both of them were exhausted.

Chakotay had managed to get the replicator up and running already and they decided on pot roast because both of them could use a good meal.

The weather was still very acceptable, sunny and cooling down only a little so Kathryn asked Chakotay to join her for dinner at the edge of the clearing. He accepted and like old times, they sat together dining, only a few things were different.

They were on a strange planet.

They were the only two people here. And they would be for quite some time.

For Chakotay it was easy. He had lived in the wild for a long time on his home world, not an easy world like this one. There were deserts as hot as fire, sudden winds and rain that would flood a river. So he was confident here.

Kathryn on the other hand was not a camper at all. She loved nature but living from basics like this, just a thin wall separating them from the unknown planet's night was unnerving. She thought about how she would get through the night as they sat at the clearing, watching the big sun go down slowly.

Suddenly it was gone and she looked up at Chakotay. 'Let's get inside.'

He nodded, stood up and walked back with her. Once inside he turned to her.

'If you take that room there, I'll take this one.' He pointed towards the smaller room.

'No, I'll take the small one. I'm smaller, remember?'

He shook his head. 'Don't argue. I know you don't like sleeping so close to the door. I'll take this. It's big enough.'

She was too tired to argue and frankly he was right. Nodding, she moved towards the bathroom. His voice stopped her. 'Ehm.. I didn't get the sonic shower working yet.'

'Great, so I'm just going to have to go to sleep feeling dirty?' It sounded harsher than she meant, but she didn't care.

'You can use the sink,' he said dryly.

Suddenly her behaviour was ridiculous even to herself. She had just enjoyed a beautiful evening on a new planet with her closest friend. And here she was, complaining about a shower.

'You know what, tomorrow I'm going to fix it. First thing,' Chakotay promised. She sighed. 'I'm sorry. It's.. It's fine. I'll have plenty of time for a shower,' she apologised. He nodded. 'Yeah..'

After an awkward scene in the bathroom, the intimacy of sharing dental hygiene rituals and seeing each other in sleepwear getting noticed by both of them, they each retreated to their own areas.

From his bed, he could hear Kathryn talking. He knew she was recording a personal log, and he smiled. Always the scientist. What would she be recording, I just had a sunset dinner with my First Officer and I encouraged him to use my first name instead of my rank? But he was glad she had done all that. It would make living here so much easier knowing she was ready to share this with him.

And she was. From the other side of the room she could see his movements, his turns even in the dark and it comforted her to know he was right there. Where he had always been and she believed he always would be. Right by her side. Ready to help her with a decision, with a task or personal problem. He would always be there.

She had felt it for a while, but today it had been stronger than ever. She didn't know what it was. It felt like trust but it went so much deeper. A certain knowledge, factual, irrefutable. He would keep her safe.

Naming a Planet

Giving a Bathtub

Feeling a Spark

Defining Parameters

Promising a Future

Planting Vegetables

Talking about Love

Making a Decision

Realizing a Mistake


	2. Naming a Planet

New Parameters

Naming a Planet

The night they said goodbye to Tuvok and Voyager was the night she first retreated to the waterfalls.

Chakotay had discovered them a few hours ago and she had been enchanted by them. Two waterfalls, one even higher than the other, crashing down into a lake not too far from the shelter.

After Voyager had severed communications she looked at Chakotay who had supported her through all this, smiled sadly at him and left him standing near the shelter. He knew where she was going and he knew not to follow her. She needed time alone.

Kathryn sat down on a rock close to the edge of the lake, watching the sun play in the mist rising from where the water touched the lake.

They were gone.

She was alone on this nameless planet, her only company Chakotay, a man who had helped her with so much the past days. Still, it felt like her entire crew had died, taking Voyager along with them, and they were the only two people who survived. She chuckled at the irony, because in reality it was exactly the other way around. They were the people who would die here if she didn't find a cure.

The pain stabbing her heart could easily turn on Chakotay, but she made sure it didn't. He wasn't a scientist like her, she could hardly blame him for not being as good as she was with molecules, viruses and DNA sequencing. Still, she sometimes felt like he wasn't trying. He had made them shelves for the kitchen, two beautiful chairs, a bench for the space he called their garden and so much more to make sure they were comfortable.

Janeway didn't want to be comfortable.

She wanted to work, make sure they found a way to counteract the virus, get rid of it, before Voyager was too far away to be reached by shuttlecraft. She didn't need carved wooden chairs or a comfortable cushion for her back. She needed focus, input and results. And so far she wasn't getting any of them.

She knew Chakotay didn't expect her to be the Captain out here. Here, she was just Kathryn, she had reminded him of that many times in the time they had been here. When he finally had called her Kathryn a sense of equality had washed over her, but at the same time she felt somehow bare. Naked, without the Captain to hide behind she was just Kathryn. A woman. A driven woman at that, but still just a woman. No magical powers, no extraterrestrial technology to be acquired to help her. Just Kathryn, Chakotay and a planet.

A planet that clearly agreed with Chakotay more than it did with her. He felt at home, and although she knew he was deeply hurt by their loss, like her, he found ways to deal with that loss, make it bearable. She had often watched him work until he was exhausted, or go off on walks to come back sweating but clearly more at ease than when he had left. They didn't really talk about it, they just acknowledged that each had a different method in dealing with their situation. She suspected he meditated a lot, mostly at night, he had even allowed her to hear him sometimes. Other times he sought out the privacy of the woods to contact his spirit guide, and he would come back with a soft smile and reassurance on his face.

Sometimes she truly wished she had that. A religion so strong that even the pain of a dramatic change like this could be softened by it. She had considered asking him for help on the matter but decided against it. At this minute, she wished she hadn't. She wished she had let him show her what he did, and how it felt, because she hadn't yet found an effective way of dealing with the pain except work. And work was only a reminder of that pain, a constant factor that told her: You have to make this work. If you don't, you'll never see them again.

She knew she had to let go of 'them'. She had to concentrate on another them, namely Chakotay and her, trapped here on this devilishly beautiful planet.

Because it truly was a handsome planet. So far she had seen flowers in many colours, hills, forests where trees stood tall, many different bushes carrying edible fruits and rivers flowing as far as she could see. She didn't like the part in herself that was starting to love this place, but it was there, and it was undeniable. She found herself watching the flowing of a stream, the waving of leafs in the wind, the setting sun, and being completely enchanted by it.

Siging, she took off her slippers and dipped her feet in the water. It was cold, but at least she felt the cold. It took her mind off the situation, the water was a welcome distraction.

Soon however, her mind started to wander again. Why was she even wasting time here? She stood and walked back to the shelter, her slippers in her hand. She had to get back to work.

Chakotay was fixing a temporary replicator malfunction when she walked in.

'Hey, you ok?' he asked concerned.

'Yes, fine,' she answered coldly. 'I'm going to get back to work now. We have catching up to do.'

He looked at her. 'Kathryn.. It's ok to take some time.'

'I don't need time, I need to work' she answered, grabbing some of her gear. 'I'll be back before long.'

'All right,' he agreed. 'I'll make dinner.'

His kindness touched her. She was being hard on him, knowing he was going through the same she felt she was being unfair. 'Thank you, Chakotay,' she said, locking eyes with him. 'I really love your cooking.'

'I know, and I love doing it,' he said, a small smile lighting up his face. 'It takes my mind off things.'

'That's what the work does for me, I hope you understand,' she tried to explain because he didn't deserve being left in the dark.

'I do, you know that,' he answered.

She left the shelter with a slightly more positive feeling. She wasn't alone, she knew that by now. Even though he wasn't in the best situation of his life, he still managed to stay positive and do what had to be done. She admired that quality and wished she had more of it, but she could feed off his energy for now and make sure she didn't take him down with her. She was still positive she would find a cure, although it had proven to be more difficult than she had thought at first. Her hopes had been to find a cure before Voyager was out of range, and although she knew it would be almost impossible, she had tried everything to reach her goal.

As she walked out onto the clearing, she thought of how she had been behaving since they were down here. She hadn't really shown Chakotay how much he had done for her and she realized that was probably unfair since he had done nothing but try to make her life easier. His cooking was sublime and even combined with local, unknown ingredients he succeeded in making meals far beyond the stuff she was used to replicating. The tricorder had always informed them whether something local was safe to eat or not, but to include local fruits in his cooking took creativity she hadn't realized he had. He was showing her more sides to him she had never seen and she regretted not getting to know him better on Voyager. They had shared a lot on board, but time to get to know each other was something neither had possessed. Now that they were down here she realized she didn't really know him very well. He probably knew her a lot better than she knew him.

Kathryn spent her time looking for insects or other living organisms, taking scans of the environment and collecting soil and water samples to test back in the shelter. When she saw the sun beginning to set, she headed back for their home.

Inside, Chakotay had already prepared their food, and two plates steaming with a vegetarian dish were waiting for her. 'Join me outside?' he invited, and she accepted because it had been their habit to eat dinner outside. It was the most peaceful time of the day, the entire planet going quiet, no sound to be heard except for the sounds they made themselves.

He pulled up a cushion on the bench he had crafted and she sat down, pulling his cushion up to support his back like she knew he liked by now. He gave her a plate and they ate in silence for a while, the realization that Voyager was no longer watching over them slowly sinking in.

'You know, this planet really is a lot like Earth,' Chakotay said. 'It's too bad we haven't detected any larger animals so far.'

'Why?' Kathryn asked.

'Can you imagine finding a herd of something resembling.. I don't know, sheep, or horses?' He sighed. 'It would be interesting to study their behaviour.'

'That would be fascinating,' Kathryn said. 'I haven't detected anything so far. But you're right, it does look a lot like Earth.'

'Does it have a name?' he asked.

'The planet? I honestly don't know. We didn't choose it ourselves, maybe it's in the logs somewhere?'

She was referring to the Doctors logs, recorded by the EMH during his research and attempts to cure their illness. Neither of them had chosen to read them yet because they were afraid it contained quite a few failures, something they hadn't been brave enough to face.

'I.. I don't want to read those,' she added. Chakotay shook his head. 'Neither do I. We could name it ourselves.'

'That's a good idea, but what should we call such a beautiful but treacherous place?'

He sighed, she was right. This planet wasn't just beautiful, it also contained the virus that had trapped them here. Still, if they had to be down here forever, he wanted the name to be something that reminded them of home.

He thought back a few years. Home then had meant war, his own ship the only place he felt safe. No planet had been his home then, no outer planet far away enough to settle on. Then, his home had been Voyager. They could hardly name the planet Voyager, it would only be painful to be reminded of that every living second.

He thought back further, to his time in the Federation. That time he had been truly happy, and a smile played across his features at the memories playing in his mind. Boothby, Starfleet Academy, falling in love for the first time, the first time he ever piloted a shuttle..

'We could call it New Earth,' he suggested.

She went quiet and looked at him. The sparkle in his eye captured her for a moment before she realized the name was perfect. Her fondest memories beside the ones on Voyager were from things that had happened on Earth, and slowly she nodded. 'It's perfect.'

No analysis. No science. Just Kathryn, Chakotay, memories of old Earth, and a future on New Earth.

Still to come:

Giving a Bathtub

Feeling a Spark

Defining Parameters

Promising a Future

Planting Vegetables

Talking about Love

Making a Decision

Realizing a Mistake


	3. Giving a Bathtub

3. Giving a Bathtub

'_And why can't you tell me?' She almost ran after Chakotay as he tried to make his escape from a curious Kathryn Janeway._

'_It's almost finished,' he tried to lose her. 'I'll show it to you when it's done.'_

'_Why can't I see it now?' she wasn't about to give in._

'_It's.. A surprise,' he said. 'Just wait and see, I'll try to finish it soon.'_

_Janeway sighed. 'I don't like to wait.' He grinned. 'I'll work fast. Don't follow me, I'll know you're there. Like yesterday.'_

_Her eyes went big. 'You heard? That's why you walked to the river with your tools but cleaned them instead of working on the.. Thing?' _

_He wiggled his eyebrows. 'You got it.'_

_Kathryn threw her hands in the air. 'All right, you win. Now go on, I don't want to be kept waiting even longer because of my own persistence.'_

_He smiled and turned around, soon disappearing into the woods._

Today would be his last trip to those woods. Checking a couple of times out of habit to see if she wasn't following him, he walked to a place barely five minutes away from their shelter for the last time. As he remembered their conversation from before Voyager had left, sadness flowed over him. He hoped he could make her happy with what he had been building for her.

A water resistant protective sheet was covering his handiwork, and as soon as he removed it he felt pride swell in his chest. He had made this, every single curve and detail had been created by his own hands. It made him feel useful down on this planet where she was the scientist and he was the man.

Because that was how it had been, and he would have loved it if it hadn't meant he couldn't help in their curing. Usually in his tribe the men would hunt, but also take care of their women by building them homes and furniture, making clothing and providing for them in whichever way they could. She wasn't aware of this, but she seemed to accept his attempts at making her happy. He also knew she wasn't happy, how could she be. She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. On many occasions he had told her that it was ok, that he would be happy if she never found a cure. She looked at him with a look of disapproval each time he brought it up, but he didn't care. Chakotay wasn't stupid. He knew that if the Doctor hadn't been able to find a cure with them as samples, it would be unlikely for Kathryn to cure them with the limited resources they had. He also knew that she had realized this from the moment she had started her investigations. Every part of her was pushing forward to finding a cure, but each time she ran into a problem, the cause was the equipment or lack of it.

Today, Voyager had been gone for a few days, was her birthday. He knew she didn't keep track of time in that way, because she had a lot of experiments going on she relied on him to keep track of the date while she counted the days since their arrival. This was his present to her, New Earths present to her, something she had wanted from the moment they woke on the clearing almost 3 weeks ago.

He finished the steps on the outside of the bathtub and examined every inch of it to make sure it was fully waterproofed, safe and smooth around all the edges. Only when he was truly satisfied with his work did he start clearing up around him. He recycled every material he hadn't used, put away the wood he had left for any later projects and went on to his final touch: A few beds of flowers, seeded not planted so they would flourish later this year when the days would be hot enough to bathe even at night. He had chosen a variety of flowers, but his main choice had been roses because he knew what they stood for but mostly he knew what they meant for her, for them.

Only an hour later he was completely finished and walking back to the shelter he thought about how he would show it to her. He considered blindfolding her and guiding her to the place, but decided against it. Just showing her would be more appreciated, so as he found her still trying to outsmart the virus he put his tools on the table. 'I'm finished.'

Immediately her eyes lit up like those of a child. 'Can I see it? Where is it?'

'It's not here, it's too big to just take with me,' he teased her. 'And heavy, too.'

'Oh,' she said, and he could see it took some of her willpower not to beg. 'Come on, I'll show you,' he finally said, touching her shoulder to direct her outside.

She went willingly, too curious to object to being ripped from her work and too curious to care. As they walked through the forest he noticed her steps getting faster. 'In a hurry?' he chuckled.

'No,' she said, slowing immediately. She was opening up so much, revealing herself to him and he was honoured beyond belief, even though she seemed to be embarrassed by it sometimes he knew that this was the true Kathryn, the woman. And the more he saw of her, the more she pulled him in.

'Close your eyes,' he said as they approached the location. She did without hesitation and he lead her by her hand.

'Happy birthday, Kathryn,' he said softly. 'Open your eyes.'

She was standing directly facing him and he saw tears in her eyes when she opened them and looked straight into his. Then, her gaze turned to the left as she caught a glimpse of something beautiful.

'Oh, Chakotay..' It was all she could say. Her hand covered her mouth, and she was frozen in her spot. Never had anyone built her anything. Never had anyone taken the time to do something of this magnitude for her, something that meant so much to her.

He had built her a bathtub.

'Can we put it closer to the shelter?'

That was her first question.

'Really? That's your response?' he joked. 'I thought you might like some privacy so I built it here, but we can move it anywhere you like,' he added, more serious. She was beaming with delight and he was afraid to ruin her mood with one of his goofy remarks.

'I want it closer to the shelter, so I can use it whenever I like,' she stated. 'It's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever given to me.'

Her voice became soft and he was aware of a slight trembling in her arm. 'Hey, you ok?' he asked because he had seen her like this before, when Voyager was about to leave communications range.

'Yes.. I'm just.. Thank you,' she said honestly and a tear ran down her cheek. She brushed it away angrily and he realized she was trying to be brave for him.

'It's ok to cry,' he whispered and his words brought tears to his own eyes. 'I just wanted to make you something you really want. And because I can't make a cure I thought this was the second best thing.'

'It is.. It's all that was missing. Now, this place might just be bearable.'

He couldn't smile at her words, he wanted to but he couldn't. She kept being negative about New Earth, even though they agreed it was a beautiful place she resisted it with all her might.

'I'll move it, if you want you can take a bath right away,' he changed the subject. 'I'll have it plugged in the reservoirs and near our house in half an hour.'

'I'd love to,' she said. 'I'll get my towel.'

He nodded and watched as she walked off in the direction of the shelter, wiping a tear from her cheek as she turned her back to him. His heart ached to help her but he knew he was doing everything he could, everything she would allow him to do.

Moving the bathtub wasn't hard, and within the promised thirty minutes it was ready for her. He walked inside to see what Kathryn was up to just as she exited their bathroom in what looked like just a towel.

'You're all set, just make sure the water doesn't get too hot,' he warned her, keeping his eyes on hers. 'It should be warm for at least an hour.'

'That should be long enough,' she said, brushing past him. 'I'm going to enjoy this thoroughly.'

'I hope you do,' he called after her, watching her walk towards the tub. She turned around just as he closed the door and the curtains to make sure he wasn't tempted to look, but truth be told she didn't really care. They were only human after all, this planet had proven that to her. Skin and bones, that was all. She stepped into the tub he had already filled for her and found a ridge to sit on, large enough to lean back and rest her head on a surface that looked like it was specially made for that use.

Chakotay sat back down, looking at the tools he had left there. Between them he found a note.

_Thank you for remembering my birthday._

That was it, nothing else. He smiled and his insides warmed. That was all he wanted, to make her feel good and it seemed like this time he had done it right.

Kathryn sat in the tub for the full promised hour. Her limbs relaxed in a way she had missed so much, and she revelled in the feeling of tension leaving her every muscle. She almost fell asleep twice and after a third close call she decided to call it a day and she pulled the plug to avoid the temptation of the still warm water.

Pulling a towel around her she realized she would have to walk past Chakotay into their bathroom to change, but she figured if she did it quickly enough he wouldn't have a chance to comment on her wrinkly skin.

Wrinkly skin was the last thing on Chakotays mind as he watched her enter, run past him and close the door to the bathroom. All he saw was long legs, a towel and beautifully long, reddish wet hair. The past few days he had become aware of a very strong pull his body had developed to hers, and it wasn't something new but it was something that had become stronger these past few weeks. He used to feel it whenever her eyes were on him, or his voice was directed at her. Then it diminished to a rush of blood through his body whenever she touched him.

Now, it was back, stronger than ever. Just her scent, or a small sound could make him lose his mind in her. He knew he had to keep it a secret from her and he was, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could tell her they were just friends.

Chakotay knew she felt it too. He felt her eyes on him often as he worked, from close by or sometimes in secret, from behind some bushes she would watch him and he would know but never acknowledge. She would come to him, he was certain of it. And her pace was the only pace, the right pace so he would wait. Wait until she was ready to live a present with him, create a future and forgive but never forget a history.

Still to come:

Feeling a Spark

Defining Parameters

Promising a Future

Planting Vegetables

Talking about Love

Making a Decision

Realizing a Mistake


	4. Feeling a Spark

**[Author's note: I wrote a few lines on spirit guides here, and it's been years since I've seen the episodes concerning those. If I got everything wrong, I apologise. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This didn't become as sparkly as I would have liked but I promise you, it's coming.]**

New Parameters

Feeling a Spark

Then, the storm hit.

A raging plasma storm that they hadn't seen before, destroying everything around them, the woods, their house and everything in it.

Chakotay ran to get Kathryn from the woods and he held her close under their table, the only safe place they could get to in time, and he held her close even when she struggled to get free. She watched helplessly as her entire progress was destroyed by Mother Nature, and she fought the arms around her, wanting to try and salvage at least one container, at least one experiment.

But he wouldn't let her go, and when the storm had finally blown over, she punched him, hit his ribs hard, pushed him away, kicked and fought to get free. Once she stood up and he followed wordlessly she realized the futility of her actions but she couldn't apologize. Looking around her, she analyzed the damage.

'Maybe some of the insect traps are still intact,' he offered some hope, but soon they discovered that the storm had taken everything that was important to her, everything except him.

Her words cut right into his soul. Only this morning she had told him that one day she may be forced to let go, but today wouldn't be that day. Now, the decision had been taken from her. Everything had been destroyed, and the past weeks of hard work had been for nothing. 'There's no way I can continue to do my research.'

That's one way of letting go.

In silence, they cleared up their house, Kathryn forcing herself to help because it was her house too, even though she wanted to run away, be alone and cry. She knew it wasn't his fault, that the storm had been very dangerous and they were lucky to be alive.

'We should come up with a way to forecast the weather,' Chakotay said after they had made their house habitable again and he had made some sandwiches. 'Maybe we can prepare for them. It did way too much damage.'

She nodded. Everything was destroyed except for the table, one chair and her bathtub, a stubborn piece of wood. Even the replicator, which was embedded in the wall, had taken irreparable damage.

'We should see if the shuttle is still intact,' she said softly. 'we can use its replicator and it has many other components we could use.'

'You mean take it apart?' he had wanted to do that for a while but she was still hoping to need it one day.

'Yes,' she stated. 'You can take it apart.'

He wanted her to be sure. 'That means destroying our only way of getting off this planet,' he said. She nodded. 'I know that. We won't be needing it now, if we leave, we get sick and we die.'

He sighed. 'All right. I'll see what's left of it tomorrow.' The shuttle would be in good condition, he knew that the storm wouldn't have done much damage. In his mind he was already adding rooms to the shelter, making roof plates from the viewscreen, so they could look at the stars while in bed.

Then, he noticed Kathryn walking out. 'Where are you going?' he asked casually.

'To the waterfalls. I'll be back soon.'

He offered her another sandwich. 'Here, take it with you. And be careful, there will be branches everywhere.'

She nodded and left him standing. He knew why she was going, she didn't want him to see her crying over her loss. She too must feel the irony of her earlier statement in contrast with what had just happened.

Kathryn made her way to the magical place, pushing through branches, leafs, going around a few big logs that she couldn't move. Finally she got to her destination and found it still as beautiful as before. It seemed as if it had been unaffected by the storm, the water still coming down hard and misty. It was almost divine, she thought, and suddenly she regretted not asking Chakotay with her. He had left this place to her, knowing she needed a place to be alone. Still she knew he was searching for a place like that himself, and the religion he had would undoubtedly find a place here among the waters.

She sat on the edge of the river, looking into the water. It was done.

A weight had been lifted, she realized. She felt lighter, as if she didn't have to prove anything anymore. She scolded herself for these thoughts.

But she felt something else as well. Something that, for the first time in years, truly scared her.

Alone. Lonely.

Two people on a planet, something neither of them had experienced before. Kathryn doubted that anyone had ever experienced this before. She had had the feeling of being alone on the world before, but there had always been proof of others around her. Buildings, infrastructure, civilisation. Here, they were their own civilisation. No rules but what they made for themselves.

No way to remember the people who were still on the journey, she suddenly thought. After they had died, no one would know about their legacy and about the ship, Voyager and her crew who were still out there, on their way home.

Kathryn looked back into the waterfalls and she sighed.

Chakotay let her go because he needed to be alone himself. He suddenly felt very sad, knowing that all her hopes had been crushed he wondered if she could ever be happy again. He had anticipated this, seen it in his vision quests and in his coma before even being here that they would not get off this planet. He hadn't shared this with her but now he wondered if it would have lessened her pain.

He decided to go and look for her, because even though he shared her feelings of wanting to be alone, needing time and space, he knew the only way to do this was together. If they tried to do this alone it would only separate them.

He knew where she was so it wasn't long until he spotted her, sitting near the edge of the water.

'Hi,' he alerted her to his presence.

'Hi,' she said, not surprised because she had heard him approach. She was grateful for his being there even though she had walked away from him before.

'I was thinking,' she started. He sat down next to her.

'Maybe you could.. Make something to remember them,' she whispered, looking him in the eyes.

He saw her need in the blue depths, her need for closure. 'Like.. A sign?' he asked.

She nodded. 'Like a stone, or engrave something in the wall behind the water, I don't know what you can do,' she said. Her eyes were full, full of everything. Sadness, hope, love, and he even saw a little spark of relief. Also he noticed she seemed more relaxed already than he had seen her in all the time they had been here.

'I can make something,' he affirmed. 'We could do it together. The waterfalls are beautiful.'

She nodded. 'I just thought.. They have a religious quality.'

'They do. You're right.. Kathryn..' he stopped mid sentence.

'Yes?' she asked.

'If you want, I could help you with a vision quest. It might help, you know, get things into perspective.'

She smiled at him and her hand found his knee. 'Thank you, Chakotay.. That's very kind of you. But right now I just need to think about it.'

He nodded. 'All right, but I'm here if you need me, you know that.'

She nodded and without shame her head fell onto his shoulder. 'You know I'll have to try and fix the traps,' she whispered. 'I know,' he said. 'I'll help you any way I can. But you have to promise me.. When it's lost it's lost, there will be a time that you have to stop.'

'You don't know that,' she said.

And that was the final straw, he couldn't take any more of her denial.

'No, I do know. You will have to let go, Kathryn. I saw it.'

Her face evened out. 'You saw it? Like in a vision quest?'

'Yes,' he nodded. 'More than once. I don't know when or how but we will have to let go.'

He expected her anger but didn't get any.

She just looked at him, her eyes softening as she saw truth in his eyes. 'If you're right, I will come to that conclusion myself soon enough,' she said. 'I'm not in denial. I just can't stop trying yet.'

Chakotay nodded. 'Okay. I respect that but I can't live on waiting for you to realize our situation, Kathryn. I'm going to make this our home. I'll help you if I can, and I'll give it my all.'

Kathryn nodded too, she knew his words were true and from the heart. He had been her rock during this whole thing, and now that she suddenly realized how alone they really were, she needed a rock more than hope. She had half given up on getting off New Earth anyway, but the fear of being alone that had taken her by surprise kept her going.

Chakotay watched her quietly as he saw emotions go across her face. He saw fear and needing her to share it, he decided to ask her.

'What is it?' he asked softly. She met his eyes and now all he saw was fear.

She reached for his hand and he gave it, grasping her smaller, slightly quivering hand in his.

That seemed to give her strength, and she didn't know why but something inside her shifted to make room for him in her heart, to trust him enough to share this with him.

'I'm scared,' she said, her voice trying to stay strong. 'We're all alone here, Chakotay.'

He sighed softly. 'Yeah, we are.' He had felt the same feeling weighing on him, the magnitude and at the same time insignificance of their situation difficult to understand for him. No one knew they were here except for the crew of Voyager, but for Kathryn and him it was their life.

'I'm scared to.. End up here, all alone.' She met his eyes again, brave but vulnerable.

'Hey,' he said. 'That's not going to happen. We're both healthy as long as we're here, we haven't detected any dangerous wildlife, and we'll learn to protect ourselves from the storms. We'll be safe.'

She nodded her thanks. 'Yeah, you're right. Let's get back, it's getting dark.'

He looked around and saw that she was right. Their surroundings were swiftly turning from divine to magical, soft reddish light coming from the skies colouring the water, sparkling and the sun coming from the now clearer sky making the water glitter.

He helped her up and linked arms with her as they walked back to the shelter. He whispered to her that it would be all right, soft nothings that soothed her anyway.

Like every evening, he cooked dinner and ate it together with her, outside, but not on their bench. That bench had been destroyed, so they sat on the soft grass instead. Both were quiet. Both felt something they hadn't felt before.

Kathryn felt free. She had come to realize that the feelings she had for Chakotay wouldn't go away but she had also decided that they had no place here as long as she was still hoping to cure them. Now that hope wasn't there anymore, at least not strong enough for her to believe, she was free to get to know him better.

Something held her back though. If she allowed herself to love him, it would hurt her even more if she lost him.

Chakotay had no idea of her feelings. As they ate he thought about how lucky he felt to have her as his companion here. There was no question in his mind that this was meant to be, he would be happy with her here. Attraction had changed into love, but undemanding love, the kind that didn't ask for a sexual relationship. Even though he wanted that too, he would be content with a deep friendship like they were developing now. The woman Kathryn was smart, funny, beautiful and challenged him in every way, like the Captain had been. She had made way for a personality he hadn't expected to see in her, humour and quick wit finding their way into the world again. The Captain's mask had almost fully disappeared and he felt himself falling even deeper in love with Kathryn.

As she cleared away the dishes and broke out the whiskey, she felt some tension start to appear between them. She needed to break that, make sure they didn't start keeping secrets from each other now.

Sitting down next to him, she handed him a glass. 'What is it, Chakotay?'

He accepted the liquid and looked at her, smiling softly. 'Nothing. I'm just happy it's us down here.'

She wanted to ask him why but she already knew. 'I feel the same,' she answered, surprising him.

The tension flowed away, making way for easy conversation and laughs. Around them, the planet was watching over them, quietly smiling down on the couple. Chakotay's spirit guide looked at Kathryn's, smiled, and lay down, accepting their new dynamic. Kathryn's spirit guide seemed hesitant but when it made up its mind, she closed in and snuggled into the wolfs side. Their future was set.

Still to come:

Defining Parameters

Promising a Future

Planting Vegetables

Talking about Love

Making a Decision

Realizing a Mistake


	5. Defining Parameters

Defining Parameters.

Kathryn tossed and turned in her bed. What was happening? Chakotay had just massaged her neck and it had felt great, but she had felt something from him that she had been trying very hard to avoid.

Over the past days they had been growing closer, like was to be expected from two people left alone on a planet. She had always known that Chakotay was someone who could make her stomach clench with just a look, who could make her laugh even if his joke wasn't really that funny, and it had been fine so far, their attraction being there, mutual but never acknowledged until tonight. Tonight he had lingered, his nose in her hair, his hands on her shoulders he had been very close to admitting something to her she wasn't ready to hear or admit herself. And she didn't understand why it was so hard for her. Maybe it was the fact that if they talked about it, it must be real. Or that just talking about it would make their being there final, that they would quit trying. Not yet.

Still, she was in bed, listening to his movements, trying to read his mind. What was he thinking? If he loved her, why didn't he stop her? Was he afraid too?

The parameters of their relationship, she realized, hadn't been properly defined. Sure, she had told him not to peek when she was taking a bath, but she knew he would never do that anyway. He was such a good, modest man, he would never take anything from her if she hadn't explicitly given it to him. They had never talked about their relationship, except for repeatedly saying to each other that no matter what the other did, they would be there for each other because if they had a falling out, they would be all alone. Still, no compromises had ever been necessary to keep the sky clear between them because they always seemed to understand each other without too many words, let alone arguments.

Lying in her bed, Kathryn thought about the risks of a real, sexual relationship. If it went wrong the consequences would be theirs to deal with. They wouldn't be able to move out, live alone for a while, get some space because in essence they needed each other to survive here.

However, living like this would become very uncomfortable as well. On a number of occasions she had wanted to tell him it was ok, that she knew he loved her and that she felt the same, but how could she do that and then deny him the relationship that they could have? She was at a loss.

Maybe, just maybe, parameters would be what was best. To live like friends, to reinstate the command structure they had, that would keep some distance between them and keep their relationship somewhat professional. Thinking about it, it sounded ridiculous, but to her, right now it was the only way to make this work. Losing each other would be too high a price to pay. Staying friends would be easier and much less painful if something ever went wrong. Chakotay was a good man, he would accept her terms and who knew, somewhere in the future she might still change her mind, but for now she needed to try and explain herself to him so he would understand and they could deal with the tension knowing what they had, and how they were going to deal with it.

She could hear him grinding, working on his sand painting. Deciding now was as good a time as any, she got out of bed, collecting herself and taking a deep breath before walking out of her sleeping area towards the table.

As always, he made time for her, putting his work aside. He knew where this was going, had seen it brewing in her mind for the past week or so. He also knew that this was the best time to confront her with his feelings. She was vulnerable, open, and he was scared to betray her trust but he felt like this could go only one way.

He ended up not hearing her parameters but instead confided in her in his own way, through a story, one that had her hooked. It was about an angry warrior, a beautiful woman warrior and their tribes, but most importantly about completing each other. Because it was true. He had finally found his task, the one that would bring him satisfaction in life. To protect her, no matter what. To make her burdens lighter, no matter what would lie ahead, she would confront it with her chin held high and he would stand beside her, making sure she was safe.

And in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace.

The tears in her eyes finally overflowed and dropped onto her cheek. Her brain was trying to take it all in, but couldn't. It wasn't an ancient legend. It was them.

This is going completely wrong, she thought. Then, her hand reached out to him. It seemed to defy her brain. Who cares about what her motives were going into this conversation. This man, this beautiful, honest, strong, loyal man was down here, with her, on a planet that was beautiful beyond words. She who had been preparing to tell him friends was all she could offer now couldn't for the life of her remember why.

His thumb caressed her hand softly and he looked at her for a long moment, just looked as he saw the love he felt for Kathryn reflected back to him in her eyes. A slight tension in her face reminded him of the truth, was she ready? He pulled back his hand and looked down.

'Well, I guess I'm going to bed. It's getting kinda late. I'll.. I'll see you in the morning,' he said softly, not daring to look at her. As he stood, he heard her rise as well.

'Chakotay..'

It wasn't more than a whisper, just her trying to get his attention. He found the courage to meet her eyes and what he saw there brought tears back to his. She seemed so small, fragile even, in her blue nightgown, her hair a bit tousled from sleep and her face tear-stained.

'I'm sorry if it was too soon, Kathryn,' he said softly. 'But I thought you needed to know. I'd never push you, but I will always love you.'

At the sound of the words finally spoken, she took the final step towards him and softly brushed her lips to his. It was barely a whisper of a touch and she seemed to wait for his reaction. For a moment he was frozen until he felt her beginning to pull back, suddenly his brain was alive again. He cupped her cheek with one hand, the other grasping her hand and with a sigh, he kissed her back.

After a few long moments of being lost in each other, they pulled back and he met her eyes, hoping she wouldn't pull back, hoping he could help her face the demons. 'I'm scared', she whispered. 'I know,' he reassured her. 'There's no certainty in life but our death, Kathryn. If we don't try this I'll always regret it and so will you.'

She nodded slowly. 'I know, but I'm not sure if I can let go of Voyager yet.' Just the name brought a frown back on her face.

'Don't give up. Do that whenever you're ready. Us being together doesn't mean you've given up, it means you've found the courage to face the future. My people have a saying: It takes one heart to face the future, it takes two to conquer it. I guess it means that you can live life alone, but you'll never fully enjoy and experience it if you do.'

She smiled softly. 'That sounds strange, but somehow I believe it's true. I do want this, Chakotay. I'm trying to adjust but it's hard.'

He kissed her again, this time wrapping his arms around her. He felt a rush of relief when he felt her meet his embrace. Whispering in her hair he tried to calm her fears. 'It is hard, I feel it too.. Together we can do this, I know we can. Just give it a chance.'

She pulled back. 'That's the thing, if it doesn't work out, what will we do? We can hardly live separately.'

'We'd never do that, Kathryn. It'll work out, you'll see. And if it doesn't we still have our friendship. I believe that can overcome anything.'

She took a deep breath. 'You're right. I'm going to bed now, Chakotay.. I'd like to think about everything if that's ok with you.'

He nodded. 'Of course. I'll be right there if you want to talk with me,' he pointed towards his bed. She nodded and with the most honest smile he had ever seen from her, she released him and turned towards her own bed.

He cleared the table and went to bed as well, his mind rushing over everything that had happened. They had kissed. Kissed, really kissed. More than a small part of him wanted to go to her bed and climb in next to her, hold her beautiful body and make love to it, but he knew he couldn't. Right now she needed his distance and some time, so he would give it to her.

A few hours later Kathryn was still awake in her bed, tossing and turning. Sleep wouldn't come and neither would peace. She thought about what had happened, had she made the right choice? Nothing had changed really, and still it felt like the world was upside down.

Chakotay was having similar difficulties at his side of the house, although his were more a struggle to stay in bed and not go to her. He knew she would be having trouble sleeping, and he could hear her movements. He was afraid she'd draw conclusions or make decisions without considering everything, decisions based on her fears instead of her future. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to go to her.

After a while Kathryn decide she needed something to drink. She got up and silently moved towards the kitchen counter. Almost soundlessly she replicated herself a glass of water, the rush of the replicator penetrating the quiet night. She didn't know that Chakotay was still awake as well, lying in his bed, eyes closed, listening to her movements.

Her feet took her to the edge of his small bedroom, something inside of her wanted to check on him, see if he was all right. She watched as he seemed to be in a peaceful sleep, his eyes closed, his face beautifully relaxed. A tender smile formed around her lips at the sight of him. He truly was gorgeous, something about him made her heart clench each time she saw him.

He awoke something inside of her that was raw, a natural kind of attraction that had scared the hell out of her at first. Later, she had gotten to know him as the nicest, kindest man she had ever known. He was brave, honourable and loyal, as well as just the best friend in the world. However, it didn't matter how much she saw him, how often she met with him, every time he walked in her heart clenched a little. She had always thought it would go away some day. If she just ignored it long enough, she had thought it would eventually disappear. But it hadn't, and now their feelings were in the open, she had kissed him and the clenching feeling was still there, not stronger, not weaker than ever before. The same. And now, standing here in his doorframe, she knew it would always be that way.

She turned to leave as he opened his eyes. 'Kathryn.'

Her name was a whisper on his lips but she froze, terrified that he had caught her. 'I.. I didn't mean to wake you.'

'I wasn't asleep,' he confessed. 'I heard you get up.'

She turned to face him. He hadn't moved, only opened his eyes. 'I wanted to get some water. Sorry I disturbed your rest,' she apologised again.

Chakotay's heart was pounding. She had actually come to him, even if her courage had abandoned her at his doorstep, still, she was here. What if all she needed was a little push?

'Come here,' he simply said, moving to one side of his quite large bed. 'I'll be good.'

She couldn't help but smile. She knew. Right now they didn't belong in separate beds. They needed to be at each other's side. She moved towards the bed, putting her glass on his handmade bedside table. Climbing in next to him felt strange and she met him with a shy smile. Turning to lie with her back to his chest, she felt his arms come around her and wondered at how natural it actually felt. Not awkward, apart from the tingling heat that he created in her belly. She allowed him to settle against her, feeling the outline of his body against hers and finding it highly erotic. She put her small hands around the arm that embraced her and sighed deeply. 'Good night, Chakotay.'

He softly pressed his lips to the base of her neck, trying to hide his racing heartbeat from her. 'Good night,' he whispered back.

They were asleep within a few minutes. Neither one knew that the other one would have dreams about their getting together, but both of them knew that these dreams were closer to becoming reality than ever.

So, so sorry for being gone so long! I'm hoping to write a bit more now since I've got my own home now, and plenty of time to write after work.. I'll be picking up my other VOY story as well!


End file.
